Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Mom's Weekend: The Method Behind the Madness

By Erin Peters

Picture Source: http://ferrin-square.tumblr.com via Google Images
  
Early May in Athens brings with it the smell of cut grass, bikini-clad girls sunning themselves outside their dormitories, the stress of upcoming midterms and of course: Mom’s weekend. This weekend-long holiday where mothers from all over the country come to visit their daughters allows them the opportunity to, as the University endorsed Athens County website says, “…discover everything Athens has to offer.” Hiking at Stroud’s Run, touring the Ridges, viewing art exhibits at the Dairy Barn, and taking part in various student organized meal events are all mentioned as excellent ways to spend time bonding with Mom. However, the big attraction that the University fails to mention in its online reading material is the one that almost all students have born witness to. As the sun sets on the little college town of Athens, moms and daughter dress laboriously in all their finery before embarking on a pilgrimage to the many bars of Court Street. Here middle-aged mothers can truly relax by taking shots with their daughters while wearing dresses that are far too tight, hitting on young boys easily half their age, loudly singing teeny-pop songs that entice their objects of prey to “Call Me Maybe”, and reliving the youth they’ve long left behind by behaving just like one of the (sorority) girls.

The highly sexualized atmosphere of Mom’s weekend is the stuff of legend. Male co-eds set out in droves in hopes of bedding horny cougars, most searching for the illusive “mother-daughter threesome” that will catapult them to the rank of alpha dog among their circle of friends. This prevailing notion of expectation, the thought of objectifying gazes lurking around every corner, drives many mother-daughter duos to present themselves as female caricatures. Rather than dressing comfortably for an evening out with family, an activity that shouldn’t involve too much formality even if it does hinge on drinking in a social setting, these bar-hopping pairs instead always appear in provocative clothing and makeup heavy enough to make a drag queen gawk. Scantily clad, the two then compete to see who can garner the most male attention. They flit around town like two shining idols of heteronormative femininity: Barbie and Skipper, so to speak. While it’s easy to argue that this type of display is all in good fun, it is impossible to ignore the ways in which such behavior seems to suggest a strong link between sexuality and mother-daughter bonding. Why and how do we use sex as a lens through which to examine our femininity and our relationship with our mothers?

Perhaps a good place to start is with Ariel Levy’s article "Pigs in Training," in which she examines the ways that young girls are socialized to present themselves as overtly sexual in order to operate socially. While her article focused almost solely on the peer groups of teenagers, it is important to recognize that during Mom’s Weekend, mothers temporarily assume the role of friend instead of care-giver. Whereas the peers mentioned by Levy acted as a strong force perpetuating the idea that sex and sexiness for young girls is in large part a public display, mothers who have had years to cultivate their own sexualities through experience have a unique perspective to offer when mimicking the same kind of performance. Although female parents are not entirely immune to the same pressures that face their children, they may have important techniques to teach younger generations that can help them navigate the hardships of embodying sexuality. Levy says of these unique challenges: “Many of the issues confronting teenage girls are the same ones affecting grown women: the prioritizing of performance over pleasure, a lack of freedom to examine their own varied, internal desires; an obligation to look as lewd as possible” (Levy 168). Participating in the alcohol- and pheromone-soaked activities of Mom’s Weekend may be a way for mothers and daughters to explore these issues together in a social setting where the support of close kin can provide comfort, safety, and insight.

An article published by the National Council for Family Relations sheds some lights on the nature of sexual competition between mothers and daughters. The demands of parenting adolescent females are said to weigh heavily on middle-aged mothers. The journal states:

For some women, the perceived loss of culturally valued youth with its easy beauty at the very same time that their daughters are sensing and exercising their own youthful attractiveness can be a bitter experience which fosters an unintentional hostility and one-sided competition between a mother and her daughter (Beiser, 1977) (Fox 27).

Through this lens one can interpret the bar-hopping ritual of Mom’s Weekend as a way for mothers to level the playing field with their younger and more virally attractive daughters. Rather than fall victim to subconscious hostilities, the act of dressing and acting like college aged women provides moms with a controlled environment in which it is socially acceptable for them to express youthful sexualities similar to those of their daughters. Going out together is a way to neutralize age-related anxieties about desirability because the natural dynamic of mothers and daughters puts the elder in control regardless of the social setting. Mothers who visit for Mom’s Weekend, perhaps resigned to sexless and utilitarian roles in their daily lives, are presented with a golden opportunity to flaunt their attractiveness. They can simultaneously occupy the positions of mother (imparting years of lessons learned about the most effective displays of femininity to their young pupils) and friend (one who can relate to the concerns of young women: namely boys and drinking). Mothers who participate in the less publicized festivities of Mom’s Weekend can attain fulfillment by enacting youthfulness to escape the drudgery of their everyday lives, all the while imparting the wisdom of age to the young daughters who they have chosen to emulate. Daughters, in turn, are afforded the opportunity to show their mothers exactly what it is to walk one night down Court Street in their shoes: the upsides and pitfalls of being young and sexy.

Although the idea of drinking with Mom certainly doesn’t appeal to all college aged women, those who do participate in the annual observance are exposed to a bonding experience unlike any other. Mothers and daughters, for one weekend, are allowed to drop all pretense regarding preconceived notions about their individual sexualities in favor of exploring these experiences of female embodiment together.

Sources:

1. Fox, Greer. "The Mother-Adolescent Daughter Relationship as a Sexual Socialization Structure: A Research Review." Family Relations: Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Studies. 29.1 (1980): 21-28. Web. 4 Jun. 2012. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/583712?seq=1>.

2. Levy, Ariel. Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture. New York City: New York: Free Press, 2005. Web. <https://blackboard.ohio.edu/@@/CDAE1BF535C0AFD59F45B89128C71CAB/courses/1/WGS_200_101_LEC_SPRG_2011-12/content/_2371688_1/Levy-PigsInTraining.pdf>.

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